A poor Chinese woman

2017/ 08/ 30

You know nothing about how other people feel when you decide to suicide.

You are too self-centered and arrogant, forgetting how to thank us for showing you

respect and....love. I know such remarks don't affect you any more because you've lost

a sense of humanity before your determination.

It was like my father, attempting kill himself because of depression. He had not been normal.

When we found him weird, it was too late.

I don't mean to be irresponsible for his case, but my elder brother, who was living near him, should have noticed his abnormal

mental condition. He should have called me whenever possible. But he did not. It wasn't so difficult for us to know my father

was a little bit mentally ill at that time.

He did not talk much while sitting on the passenger seat when we were heading for one of the most beautiful spots

in northern Japan.

"Dad, isn't it a beautiful evening sea?"

"...Yearh." He just nodded.

I just kept driving, paying attention to my mother, wife and my daughter. They looked tired, sleeping like a log.

Well, it was over 10 years ago. My father did not speak much. That's was his style. We all respected his traditional

old-fashoned type of silet style. There was what we call a generation gap which I admit there was.

Nom, some pictures in which my father smiles a bit remind me of the last driving to the hot spring in sutumn.

That was when I came back home after spending 6 months in hospital because of leukemia.

(to be continued)